Well, tonight was the big night… our world premiere of Tarts Gone Wild. We had a pretty good turn out on the red carpet. First to arrive was Jewels. Wearing yellow... no doubt in honor of THE yellow towel. She claims to be "over" GB but we know better! Accenting the ensemble was a case of lemon cookies and a clutch made by Coca Cola & Company - hand made, very rare, very hot. 
Next to come down the red carpet was the trio of Pat, Mary & Larry. Always the drama queen, Larry arrived in his silver convertible with a few changes of clothes… just in case he got trapped in the wilderness… for 8 years! At least he would be well dressed. Deb strutted her stuff all the way down the red carpet, stopping only to do her signature catch phrase of, “You’re GOOOD!” for her fans. Followed by a brief moment of her “mouth wide open in equal amounts of lust & awe” pose. The crowd roared and chanted for more. 
One of the highlights of the evening was Cootie and her surprise guest – Mr. Fruit Platter. It was pretty risky to show up with such a controversial guest but to everyone’s surprise, he was well received. Lisa drove up to the red carpet in style in her Jeep Cheeriokee with her date in tow. But strangely enough he never showed his handsome, flat face. For years now the tabloids have been trying to get an exclusive photo of the hot, Hollywood couple but sadly, that didn't happen tonight. 
Bethie was greeted with cheers and was nice enough to stop and sign a few autographs for the fans despite early rumors that she would not be attending. Those were most likely started by online fans, trying to keep attendance down and hog brownies for themselves. Arriving extremely fashionably late was Beggs with her charming date Johnnie. It was well worth the wait! Word has it that he ditched his bug-eyed lover and went with the stunning Beggs instead - good call Johnnie!!! 
As the lights went down in the theater and our film started, I noticed some pesky fans sitting directly behind us. Understandably excited and star struck, they even snapped a few pictures of the backs of our heads! Crazies! The movie was a hit and we were almost in the clear but then we were surrounded by our fans and figured we better sign a few autographs. They were very orderly and even drew numbers to see who would go first! They were all very gorgeous young men, fawning over the Tarts, as always, but only one handsome little devil stood out...
We finally made it out of the theater and had a full night of partying and Diet Coke binging. Ahhh, good times! 
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